Encouragement of Friendship
Words That Matter
(from the book called "Checklist for Life-the Ultimate Handbook")
Jonathan, Saul's son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God.
1-Samuel 23:16
Take a moment to think about someone who is a close friend. Can you recall a time when that person was merely an acquaintance? What was it that took your relationship from acquaintance to friend? A shared interest? Passion for a common cause? Perhaps a heated debate? However your friendship began, things are probably quite different in your relationship today. The polite "hello" of acquaintance days has grown into a vocabulary of deeper relationship, which includes spoken as well as unspoken sentiments.
Jonathan was just such a friend to David. David was hiding in the wilderness, attempting to discern God's will while simultaneously avoiding detection by Saul, who sought his life. Johnathan, Saul's son, came to David with words of encouragement, saying, "Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you." (1 Samuel 23:17) These words from a mere acquaintance might have been received with a smile and a thank you, or maybe one of those you-don't-know- what-your - talking -about looks. Yet those were words of encouragement from a true friend, and so the words mattered. Jonathan's words could be trusted.
The trusted words of a friend can make a positive impact in your life. Listening requires humility, patience, and an open mind.
Start with humility-know that you aren't always right. It's okay to admit you're not perfect when you're with a trusted friend. Remember, your friend is on your side.
Next, be patient. Let the wise counsel seep into you and steep there for a while. Don't jump to a wrong conclusion or criticize your friend's words before you've really examined them. It may be tough to hear some of your friend's words, but you'll never get the chance if you're calculating your response while your friend is still speaking.
Finally, be prepared to have your best-laid plans turned upside down, or at least sideways. Sometimes a friend will propose a solution you hadn't even considered--one that doesn't make sense at first. An open mind allows you to approach new ideas willingly.
Take the encouragement of a friend to heart. Let the words strenghten you. Even if you fail or fall, those words will provide a softer landing place. That's because the encouraging words of a true friend are inseparable from the unspoken message of friendship----a message of love.
I will:
Listen for God's direction in the encouraging words of a friend.
Trust that God can use my friends to help me grow.
Understand that a good friend is a gift from God.
Listen to a friend's words as intently as I would want my friend to listen to me.
Know that a friend's words are usually spoken of concern.
Learn to embrace a friend's words.
Attempt to encourage my friends as often as possible.
Things to Remember:
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born of adversity. Proverbs 17:17
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. John 15:13
A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6
No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. John 15:15
Encourage each other every day while it is "today". Help each other so none of you will become hardened because sin has tricked you. Hebrews 3:13
It is mutual respect which makes friendship lasting. --John Henry Newman
God evidently does not intend us all to be rich or powerful or great, but He does intend us all to be friends.--Ralph Waldo Emerson
After reading and studying what I posted I realized that I need to learn to be a better friend to my friends. I realized I am not a good listener. I do know that a true friend is a gift from God.
"You teach people how to treat you." I need to "own" that statement. I am asking and praying to God to give me patience. I need humility also. I need to keep an open mind and heart when communicating with my friends. When a true friend tells me something important I need to sit on it for awhile and let it set in. I don't do that. I am in a very defensive mode, which is not what I want. I noticed in this article it is about "encouraging friends as they encourage me." I also need to learn that anything said to me from a friend is out of love and concern, not judgement. Yes, I have pride. I struggle to be accepted by my friends and tend to be insecure sometimes. Are they always thinking "Nancy is such a mess".?...Well, I am a mess, but Jesus loves me. I had a very close friend tell me that after being out of contact for 30 yrs. Growing up and living all over the world and having at least over 100 homes I have lived in, I am use to making and losing friends just by moving from one country to another or one state to another. My dad was military and we moved to much in my opinion. I can not tell you right now where I am from. I feel I have no roots at all. I don't even know most of my relatives because we were never privledged to stay and grow up in one place. My mind and heart are full of many friends down my road of life. I love to love people, so this is hard on me when I had to move. I try too hard to please. Know this that in all of my happy and lonely times, Jesus was and is my best friend always. He has introduced me to so many awesome loving friends that really love me and I love them. I pray that God will teach me how to treat them. I have a few friends that are totally prayers answered! I want to yield to the Spirit and be the friend they need me to be. We all have needs. I repent for being so selfish sometimes and for not pay attention to important thoughts from them because they love me.
Love is the strongest force I have ever experienced. I am thankful for the LOVE I feel through my friendships with my friends.
Blessings to all...and may these words help turn a light on so you can see your friends and what kind of a friend are you to them..
"One is the loneliess number"..so they say. I love the fellowship of the Lord through my true friends...because there is no "one" in that relationship. It is us...and Jesus too.
